IA magical unicorn named Unico is born to the world. The event is marked by a hastily penned theme tune. The singer seems so unsure of the weak lyrics that she is barely even singing, more talking in a higher tone than usual.
#The little fellow named Unico
as cute as cute can be
An innocent boy was Unico
so happy and so care-free
[The tape went jumpy at this point]
Across the land the fighting will cease
and night will turn to day
All tears will simply disappear
and the world will say...
We love you, oh Unico
We love you...#
So what magical ability does Unico possess? Can he breath fire, or does he have X-ray vision, super strength or the power to read minds? No, none of those, Unico has the magical ability to spread love wherever he goes. But not just that, if someone nearby really loves him he involuntarily transforms into a adult-sized, winged Unicorn. It really doesn't get any more macho than that.
Why is Unico magic? No one actually knows, but one thing is for sure; it's pissing off the gods! They don't like the idea of some fruity unicorn putting everyone he meets on a fast track to happiness. They believe that's something that should be earned through years of hardship and suffering. So, rather than let him spread his vile gift amongst the populace they plot to have him removed from existence. Murder is a step too far even for these mean spirited deities so the West Wind is called upon to snatch Unico from his loving family and dump him on the Hill of Oblivion far from another living being. There he will cause them no problems.
However, never send the Wind to do a god's job. Feeling sympathy for the creature's situation Westy drops Unico off on a remote misty Island, far from the sight of those scheming gods. Surely that'll be good enough, no one will find him here, right? So the set up is over, time for the plot to kick in...
... or not. Unico spends the next 20 minutes (trust me, it feels longer) wandering in the dark with an irritating devil he meets named Beezel. Beezel spends his time flitting around the screen and through the scenery like a kid with ADD after watching a three hour Power Rangers marathon. Despite having caused the death of his stone-statue-father (the Demon of Solitude) Unico believes the two of them can be friends. I can't work out way he'd want to befriend this jerk anyway. Well, lots of nothing happens for ages until the pink haired doormat agrees to hand over his horn to Beezel if he promises to be Best Friends Forever. That's right kids, making a friend is worth mutilating yourself for.
With Unico's horn now part of him Beezel becomes even more 'spirited' (unbearable) and chases Unico around the island and eventually off a cliff, into the sea. Without his horn Unico is powerless and begins to drown. He cries out for his new friend's help but, surprisingly, Beezel isn't in the least bit interested and goes inside for a nap. No, really. He leaves him to die. Eventually though he starts to feel bad about what he's done and and heads back. Beezel dives in to rescue him even though the sea is poison to devils. Unico's horn is returned which, it turns out, represents a selfless act of love from on Beezel's part. This wonderful event causes Unico to transform into the winged stallion. He uses his new form to fly the both of them out of the rough waves and safely to dry land. As a reward Unico grants Beezel a horn of his own. "I've got the Horn! As good as my Dad's!" he chants, and the gloom lifts from the island as it is reborn.
This landmass-makeover blows Unico's cover and the god's, realising West Wind's betrayal, decide to call in more reliable wind related assistance - The Night Wind. Fortunately for our pink haired friend, the West Wind reaches him first and steals from his new home and carries him far away. Perhaps that's the last we will see of Beezel.
Sadly, it's not.
Unico finds himself in a new home, next to a stream running through a green forest. Floating down stream in a wicker basket is a new best friend; Katy the cat. Having been abandoned by her owners she is now on a journey to find a witch to teach her magic spells. The reasoning behind this is never made clear but we do get another song and this time it seems the singer is making up the words based on what she's seeing onscreen - as she's seeing it. So, little plot development but plenty of stuff about "I'll blow you a Bubble full of ruby red shoes", "if a red ribbon bow is appealing to you, Katy's the kitty to call" and the oddly sinister line "#You can wave your arms and shout, you won't scare me away# I'll do what I want to you anyway#"
The next morning the pair chance upon an old cottage in the woods which Katy obsessively insists is a witch's house. Against his wishes Unico and his cat chum investigate the place and find that it is inhabited by an old woman, who Katy naturally insists is a real life witch. The kindly old soul takes the strays in and they live together for a few days. Katy reveals that her greatest wish is to become a human girl, and it is clear to Unico that she'll never be a happy until to happens. So he uses his magic power to make it happen but allows her to believe that the 'witch' was responsible.
Time passes. One day Katy is fetching water from the stream when a mysterious man appears. Riding in on a intimidating black horse as shrieking birds flee the trees it is somewhat unclear to the viewer if his intentions are good or bad. Okay, he's clearly evil. The sinister gentleman asks Katy about herself, ultimately concluding "She's either an innocent or a simpleton and little more than a child." His own words will make his later actions questionable. He reveals himself to be the Lord of the Woods, Baron DeGhost. The Baron finishes by inviting the ex-cat to his party.
There are only two conditions;
1) No companions (well, not the old woman - it seems her age was a real sticking point. More on that later)
2) Tell no one.
So to sum up; a creepy stranger has invited a girl he considers "little more than a child" to a party at his mansion which she must keep secret from everyone. Just so we're all clear on that.
In the end, the joke's on him - she used to be a cat!
The next morning Katy attempts to slip out of the house unnoticed but is confronted by the pink haired unicorn. If she is to navigate the haunted woods to the Baron's mansion then she's gonna need to distract her do-gooding magical chum. Fortunately, she doesn't need to do anything as Unico is suddenly sidetracked by a injured monkey, wounded during the night by a squirrel agitated by the Baron's presence. While Unico licks him back to health Katy sneaks away.
Arriving at the mansion assisted by a zombifying red berry, Katy is instantly welcomed by the Baron. It seems she is early, well it is still daytime, and no other guests have arrived.
Having restored Monkey with his super spit, Unico turns his attention to saving Katy, who he realises, despite his warnings, has wandered off into the scary woods. The woods themselves try their best to stop our hero, thorned weeds constrict, the trees actively shift around to block his path. Yet another use for Unico's horn is revealed - as a head mounted sword which is handy as the foliage is getting pretty hostile. One last secret ability - Unico shrinks and sprouts previously unseen tiny wings allowing him to fly above danger - where he spots the eiery mansion in the distance.
And Unico had better hurry - The Baron has already got Katy into his bedroom with an open bottle of wine and there's a special pill in her glass. You read that right, the Baron is plying the teenage cat/girl with spiked alcohol, in his bedroom!
Returned to normal size, the unicorn watches through the keyhole as Katy attempts to serenade the Baron but is so wasted she can barely stand, let alone remember the words. But before this anime girl can go wild she collapses on the floor and falls asleep. DeGhost scoops her up, carries her across the room and lays her on his four-poster bed...
Sensing that the movie is about to jump up a few age ratings Unico creates a distraction before dragging Katy out of the bed and using his Horn to drill through the wall while the Baron is distracted. You'd better believe the Baron's pretty pissed when he finds his 'date' has been stolen.
Unico tunnels his way outside of the castle and into the relative safety of the surrounding woods - that's a fair distance in such a short time! Unfortunately Baron DeGhost is already there to meet him and the two engage in a sword fight - kinda like that time Count Dracula fought Yoda, except with better lighting. Unico's horn proves mightier than the Baron's sword, snapping the tip of the blade. Feeling somewhat emasculated the evil Baron resorts to some sort of eye-flashing trickery which causes Unico to become incapacitated. With his final breath our hero calls out for backup...
... and that means Beezel. The West Wind picks him up, out manoeuvring the deadly Night Wind on the way. Seeing his good friend once more restores Unico's fighting spirit and the two converge on the Baron's mansion, where they find Katy tied to a roof-top turret. Nothing like the threat of a possible lightning/Demon related death to sober you up!
Seeing his friend in danger, Unico sprouts his fairy wings and flies towards the Baron, his horn ready to attack (yeah, yeah -real mature!). His sharp protrudement tears through the baddy's shoulder releasing several torrents of clear blood. The shock of this attack causes Baron DeGhost to slip from the roof and he plummets several stories before being impaled on a spire. No, really!
Just when things look like they can't get anymore unexpectedly distressing for the kiddies watch.. they do. The supposedly vanquished Baron mutates into a demon and his vast mansion begins to crumble and collapse as Unico, Beezel and Katy flee to safety. The sky turns dark, lightning flashes and thunder rumbles in the distance. Suddenly the mansion is torn apart as a huge demonic figure raises rapidly from its foundations. The baron has transformed into a vast, cloaked, skull headed monster which is bloating out the sky. As a kid watching this I would have crapped myself!
The ground beneath the good guys begins to crack and crumble, giving way to deadly lava. As the trio attempt to escape they are constantly confronted by aggressive plant life and homicidal trees. Unico and Beezel turn and fight the unfeasibly huge enemy. Their attacks are way too puny to have any effect on the Baron Monster then things go from bad to worse when it retaliates with a previously unseen giant axe. Unico is struck and his horn sliced in two. His friends rush to his aid but he is unresponsive and apparently dead. But, wouldn't you know it, there unashamed out burst of emotion and floods of tears trigger Unico's Pegasus Response.
The bright light of his transformation blinds the Baron Monster as Unico flies into the sky, and straight through the terrifying creature. Weakened by this massive flesh tunnel, Baron Monster sinks into the lava and order is finally restored to the once sinister woods. With the big finale over Katy rushes home to tell the old woman all about it. Beezel and Unico follow, but the West Wind snatches the little unicorn away without anyone seeing.
The old woman explains Unico's back story to Katy as he is once more whisked away from those he loves. The closing theme plays without lyrics while the credits roll without text. Enjoy your unexpectedly distressing ending kids!
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